On Being Naked and Other Dreaded Nightmares

Most of us, B-FAB or not, would be horrified at having to be naked in public. (A B-FAB is a Beautiful Fat Ass Babe and at this point with over 65% of Americans being overweight or obese, we now outnumber the Skinny Bitches.) There is something extremely primitive about that feeling of exposure. Who hasn’t had the nightmare where you are about to go on stage and suddenly you notice that you’re naked? Who hasn’t walked down the street for six blocks only to discover her skirt is tucked up in her panty hose on a day when she’s wearing her oldest and most horrifying underwear? These aren’t nice moments.

But as much as anyone has a horror of having to parade naked (except for those of you who love it who, in our opinion, are just plain odd. Nice, lovely people. But odd.), we think B-FABs have it worse. We have to live in our pop-culture dominated society that has chosen a bean pole to model acceptance and beauty while at the same time marketing us into being fat by way of fast food and very highly processed sugars and flours. And god only knows what the government is releasing into the air to make us fat to make us sick so the drug companies can make more money. (That came from Janette and no, she’s not mentally unstable.)

We often think it would be nicer to have been born, for example, as a cat. They sashay around with their tails up not giving a hoot who see’s what. Can you imagine a chimpanzee being embarrassed about their big red butts? Or a Doberman too delicate to lick the equipment? No, of course not. They go under the assumption that if it’s natural it’s alright. We go under the assumption that if we can’t reach the ideal body type – something similar to that of an 18 year old stripper - then we should hang our heads in shame.

Janette started doing a naked blog in protest. I bet you wonder how much she shows. Does she show you her dimpled thighs and her spillage? (Spillage is a classic BFA (Big Fat Ass) sign. If you sit down in your underwear and a generous amount of flab drapes over the side of the seat – you’re in the club.) Does Janette show off her back fat? Well for that you’d have to come to our website and see.

But our real point here is that, even if you don’t want to flap it out in the produce section of the Stop and Shop, we B-FABs shouldn’t have to be any more ashamed of our bodies than the thin people should be of theirs. When you think about it, there is probably less than 5% of the population that actually looks good naked. Most of us just look like headcheese or else we’re pale and goose bumpy like chicken skin. Sound like your legs when it’s cold? (We’re raising our hands and nodding.) So what. Does that make us any less wonderful than we are? Does that make us any less attractive to our boyfriends? No it does not.

We’re thinking of getting naked and running down the driveway. Janette has tried it before and estimates that her ass and thigh flab billow back about 4 feet behind her. It’s cool. She looks like a lava lamp. The bottom line is that, while you don’t have to flap out the cellulite and show the world, we really recommend getting to a place where we’re okay looking at ourselves. Stop comparing yourself to 22 year olds who have been professionally made-up and lit and air brushed and start being okay with just being human. Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes and has dimples in many more places than just the face.

Article Source: http://www.rollernurse.com

Laura Banks and Janette Barber are the bestselling authors of Embracing Your Big Fat Ass (Atria). They write about positive body-image, weight-acceptance, self-esteem with humor. It's time to love your BFA (Big Fat Ass). Janette is a 6 time Emmy-Award winning producer/writer and Laura is a columnist at Tarot.com. Embracing Your Big Fat Ass.

Please Rate this Article

5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5 

Not yet Rated